Sunday, March 28, 2010

Ask DJ Lyons about Bullying: Question #1

As a Conflict Resolution Specialist, I sometimes receive questions about coping with bullying from one of my readers or from one of the workshop attendees of my “Be Bully Free” school programs. Knowing that these issues are common to many young people throughout the world, it felt timely to start an Ask DJ Lyons about Bullying column. Please note that DJ Lyons is the pen name I use for my two published books and some of my other writing. My real name is Debbie Dunn. Should you have a question of your own about bullying, feel free to e-mail Debbie Dunn aka DJ Lyons at I will of course keep your real name and e-mail address entirely confidential. You will receive both a personal reply and a response via this column. I will change your name in the column to protect your privacy.

Question #1: Girl from UK deals with frequent name-calling from one persistent boy

“I would like to ask you something about my experience with bullying and I hope you can help me. Right, so there's this boy called Thomas (name changed to protect his privacy) in my year and he makes these faces at me or calls me a name I really do not like. So he does this face once in a while, but hasn't done it for weeks. Then last Wednesday he pulled it when I was in the art room and he walked by the door, with his friends, whom I know, are very nice people and they don't do it, it's only him. It's started about near the beginning of year 9 and it's year 10 now; but in year 10 he hardly ever does it, less than once in a week, but when he does do it, it just really bothers me. Everyone has grown up except him; he is so sad and annoying. I would like to ask you how I should deal with it and the best method you can think of. Right now I guess he can see it in my eyes that I get annoyed, but I don't ever talk to him or say anything back, why should I waste my breathe on him? I am thinking that I should maybe smile at him nicely and then say a nice comment to subtly show him that you’re wasting time doing what you’re doing, but I’m not really sure. As for my personality I am a well liked person with many friends, I’m quite confident but I can be shy at times but I wouldn't say I am a weak person. I hope you can give me some advice to resolve my issue.”

Thanks in advance,
Sandra (name changed to protect her privacy)

Click BE BULLY FREE to read my response on